What Motivates Us? Fear or Love?

"The quality of everything we do: our physical actions, our verbal actions, and even our mental actions, depends on our motivation. That's why it's important for us to examine our motivation in our day to day life. If we cultivate respect for others and our motivation is sincere, if we develop a genuine concern for others’ well-being, then all our actions will be positive." The Dalai Lama

A friend recently posted this status from the Dalai Lama on facebook. One thought that occurred to me is that our motivations are often transparent to others when we can't see them clearly ourselves. Let me say up front, don't expect this stream-of-consciousness post to be reflective. Actually, I'm a little angry and have consistently refused to put some of these thoughts down on "paper," but I've had enough. I'm thinking about the very vocal group of people who have truly misrepresented Christianity through their hate and bigotry.

Maybe I should say misrepresented Christ rather than Christianity. Throughout history the organized church has more often than not been full of hate and bigotry, but Jesus was a model for us of inclusiveness and love. But now many who call themselves Christians fling language at those they disagree with that I wouldn't say to anyone under any circumstance much less in the name of religion. I'm thinking about the placards that the Westboro Baptist Church members carry at their demonstrations declaring that they know who God hates. Or the "Christian" who told the young atheist who wanted the Christian prayer taken off of the wall at her high school that "She was going to hell and Satan would f**k her." Or the delegate to the UMC General Conference who equated homosexuality with bestiality seemingly without regard to how that would impact the hundreds of clergy and laity within the UMC who are faithful believers wanting to be accepted in the church they love. Or even the only facebook friend that I have felt the need to "unfriend" because of bullying people he calls "lefties" (the word vermin was used a couple of times.)

To me their motivations seem transparent - fear and power. When people fear people or ideas that they don't understand they often lash out in a way that is intended to exert power over those they fear. History tells us that this approach doesn't end well. The "powers that be" have tried to control women, blacks, and other minorities through time immemorial. For a time, in the wake of civil rights legislation in the US, these voices became quieter, but now they have returned with a vengeance. They are as Sinclair Lewis said "wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross."

Of course, they say that they are defending the true gospel and the word of God. They are defending their own dogma. They certainly can't believe that God needs to be defended. If God is truly omnipotent, omniscient, etc. how can we think that our little pea-brain arguments are important at all? How can we think that extending grace and love to people who are different than we are is an assault on God or faith? The gospels show us a Jesus who did just that - extended grace and love to those who were different than he was. In fact, he reserved his wrath for those who were arrogant enough to think that they had the last word on what God wanted.

The words we choose reflect far more about who we are and our own faith or ethics (if you don't have a religion), than they do the people we direct them toward. Our agreement or lack of agreement has nothing to do with how God views other people. I personally don't believe that the dogma we adhere to has anything to do with how God views us. I do believe that the love and grace we show (or don't) is what is important to God. I do believe it's important to be faithful to the dictates of my own conscience. If there is a final judgment day when we have to give account, somehow I don't think that our failure to show love (what Jesus considered the greatest commandment) will be justified by defending the dogma that we believe to be true.(Oh, and I don't think "the preacher told me to" is going to be an acceptable excuse either.)

Some of the most shining examples of grace, respect, and love that I have seen in my life, were from people who were Pagan, Muslim, or Atheist. Gandhi said "I love your Christ, but not your Christians," (paraphrased I'm sure.) It's no wonder that in first world countries where people are exposed to more and more diversity, the church is losing people. When you can see the principles of love reflected more in those of different or no faith, it makes you wonder. The exception to this of course, is the growing numbers of people who are gathering in churches where intolerance of people who are different is promoted. If you're afraid of differences, this is the place for you.

All that being said, I live in the Bible-belt and I know many conservative people (both politically and theologically.) We disagree, or agree to not discuss, many things. Many of these people, though they may be uncomfortable or even afraid of people who are different than they are, don't lash out with hate. I'm thinking of the African-American lesbian couple who came to our church for a time and were welcomed by the people there. Or the conservative couple who doesn't believe in government handouts, but was the first to offer financial support to a person in the community who came to our church needing help. Or the 85 year old southern, middle-class white man, who said "you know if a same-sex couple loves and cares for each other the way my wife and I do, they don't do me any harm and they should have the same rights we do." These also are shining examples to me of extending the grace and love that Jesus exemplified. They have absorbed Jesus' message of love and focus on it, rather than dogma.

Some will accuse me of the same lack of tolerance that I am railing against. That may be true and I will reflect on this, but tolerance isn't the goal. Tolerating intolerance isn't a virtue in my mind. Again, I have to go back to the example of Jesus. He more than tolerated those who were different than he was, he loved them. And he was intolerant of those who didn't love, who chose being "right" over extending grace and love. If I err, given the choice I'll err on that side.