I like Harry Truman. I might not agree with all the decisions he made
as President, but I like the person he was. One thing I like about
Harry is that once he set his mind to something, he did it, if at all
possible. He never let discouragement derail him. He failed frequently,
but didn’t let that keep him from trying something different. One thing
that seemed impossible from the beginning was winning the heart and hand
of Bess Wallace.
Elizabeth Virginia Wallace (Bessie to the family) was born in
Independence, Missouri on February 13, 1885. Her parents, David Willock
Wallace and Margaret Elizabeth Gates Wallace (Madge), were both well
liked in the community, but were certainly not equal in social standing.
Bessie’s maternal grandfather, George Porterfield Gates, owned a
milling company that distributed flour throughout the Midwest. Her
paternal grandfather, Benjamin Wallace, had been a politician serving as
mayor of Independence and in the Missouri state legislature. Benjamin
Wallace died eight years before Bess was born, and although the
Wallace’s were a part of her life, their influence would fade in
comparison to that of the Gate’s clan. George Porterfield Gates was
against Madge marrying David, but gave in when they threatened to elope.
He was afraid that David Wallace wouldn’t be able to support his
daughter in the manner to which she was accustomed. He was right.
When Bess was two years old, the family moved to a house on North
Delaware St, a very fashionable address two blocks from the Gate’s
family home. As the first grandchild, she was petted and spoiled by her
Gates grandparents and aunts and uncles. Bess was easy to love and dote
upon. She was a bright, pretty, and outgoing child with golden hair and
blue eyes. Three brothers followed to compete for this attention: Frank
Gates Wallace (1887), George Porterfield Wallace (1892), and David
Frederick Wallace (1900).
Bess was a happy, active girl. She excelled in sports as the best
tennis player in Independence, an ice skater, horsewoman, and the
champion slugger on her brother’s baseball team. Madge Wallace tolerated
her daughter’s athletic activities as long as Bess maintained the
appropriate activities for a proper young lady, which she did. Bess
attended dance classes and the entire round of social functions in
Independence. She did well in school, but when it came time to go to
college, as many of her friends made plans to go away, it became clear
that Bess’ father couldn’t afford to send her.
Financial difficulties weren’t the only strains in the home. In the mid
1890s, another girl was born, but died within a few years. Madge had
always been considered “delicate”, so by the time Bess was in high
school, she was taking on more and more responsibility for her younger
brothers. From the outside, things may have looked fine. David Wallace
was outgoing and still involved in politics. He would play with the
children and was always involved in celebrations, from setting up
fireworks displays to riding at the head of parades on his black horse.
Bess adored him, but his financial difficulties began to get the best of
him and he started to drink. The final child, David Frederick born in
1900, only added to the strain.
David Wallace held on for another three years, but early on the
morning of June 17, 1903, he got up, went into a bathroom at the back of
the house and shot himself in the head. It’s hard to know exactly what
went through his mind, but the years of struggling to keep up, of
depending on his father-in-law to give him money, and of fulfilling
Gates’ negative expectations, added to his increased drinking must have
all contributed to his feelings that he couldn’t go on. The family was
devastated. Mary Paxton, Bess’ best friend and next door neighbor, went
over that morning to be with her. Together she walked with Bess in
silence as she paced with clenched fists for several hours.
David Wallace’s death and subsequent funeral were agonizing for the
family, especially for Madge. He had been the presiding officer of the
Knight’s Templar, so his funeral was elaborate and well attended, but
the local newspaper also wrote an article giving gruesome details of his
death. Add to that the realization that he had left the family deep in
debt, and Madge couldn’t handle it. She and the children moved in with
her parents, but soon after the funeral left Independence to visit a
relative and stayed away for over a year.
As you would expect, Bess’ father’s suicide changed her life in a
number of ways. From a practical standpoint, she found herself, at age
eighteen, the effective parent of her younger brothers. She also began
to feel a sense of responsibility for her mother that would last for the
rest of her life. On another level, although she never blamed her
mother, she began to think about her parent’s relationship, what it
lacked, and what she would want in a marriage, if she ever found anyone
to marry.
After the family returned to Independence, although Madge remained
basically a recluse, Bess began to become socially active again. She
spent a year at the Barstow school, a finishing school for young women
that prepared them for college, although many went there just to round
out their high school education. Bess had suitors, but no one seemed to
meet her requirements. Then in 1910, a young man knocked on the door to
return a cake plate for his cousins, who were neighbors of the Wallace
family. That young man was Harry S. Truman.
The way Harry told it, he had fallen in love with Bess when her first
saw her in Sunday School, when she was five and he was six. Over the
school years, he had never had the nerve to do more than carry her books
home from school a few times, but there had never been another girl for
him. In the intervening years, Harry had his own challenges and had
changed quite a bit. In school he had never been athletic, probably in
part to protect the eyeglasses he had to wear from the age of five; he
played the piano; and he, according to his own account, “read every book
in the Independence library.” His own ambitions to go to West Point
were dashed partly because he would never have passed the eye exam, but
also because his father lost all his money and Harry had to work to help
support the family. After a time working in Kansas City, his father
asked him to come home and help him run the farm that Harry’s mother had
inherited with her brother. So the Harry that showed up at the Wallace
home that night was suntanned and fit in a way that the younger Harry
never was.
Their courtship began that night, but would last for quite a few
years. After about a year, Harry proposed, in a letter. After 3 weeks of
silence, Bess refused. Harry responded by thanking her for letting him
down so easily, saying that he didn’t really think “that a girl like you
could ever care for a fellow like me,” and continuing to write. Harry
Truman didn’t discourage easily.
Bess had made it clear that she expected anyone she married to be able
to support her, and Harry became focused on making money. He tried
several schemes which didn’t pan out, and signed on as a partner to his
father’s business, which eventually left him with more debt. In the
meantime, Harry and Bess continued to write almost daily, and he had a
standing invitation to her house on Sundays. In his characteristically
honest way, he told her about life on the farm, but he also let her know
that he was no country bumpkin, writing about operas, symphonies, and
plays that he had seen when he lived in Kansas City. They discussed
literature and exchanged book recommendations and criticisms.
Finally, in the fall of 1913, Bess told Harry that if she married any
man it would be him. He was elated and determined that he would be able
to establish a home for her that she could be proud to live in. But
everything seemed to work against him. On the farm it was the weather,
then his investment in a zinc mine didn’t pan out. Then in 1917, it
looked like everything might come together for them. They both invested
money in an oil company and things were going very well, until the US
entered WWI. The stock in the oil company immediately dropped causing
them to lose almost all the money they had invested, but worse than that
for Bess was that Harry felt he had to do his duty. He had re-enlisted
in the National Guard, and in August he was admitted into the US Army
and was scheduled to go to Europe.
Although, several of her friends got married before sending their
beaux off to war, when Bess mentioned it, Harry now refused. He did not
want her to be stuck with a “potential cripple.” They did however, after
all these years, in spite of Madge’s objections, announce their
engagement. Bess had a special photograph taken to give to Harry when he
went to war. He carried it with him for the rest of his life, first
into battle in his shirt pocket, and later it always had a prominent
place on his desk. (This is the photo at the top of the post.)
Harry returned safely, and on June 28, 1919, at the ages of 35 and
36, Bess and Harry were finally married. They were faithful to each
other throughout all the difficulties in the coming years: a failed
business, taking care of Madge, and Harry’s unexpected presidency. Bess
had found in Harry a man who would be open with her about all those
difficulties, as well as a man who wouldn’t give up in the face of
obstacles.
One note of irony, however, after they were married they moved into
Madge’s house “temporarily,” but lived there for the rest of their lives
whenever they were in Independence.
